Why Wizards Can’t Discover Quantum Mechanics
by Steve on Sep.06, 2009, under development, preproduction
Have you ever wondered why most fantasy books are set in feudal agrarian societies? The civilizations depicted may be thousands of years old (the elves in particular always seem to come from a society that has been stable for longer than human history), and yet they’re still barely past the discovery of steel.
Lord of the Rings? Feudal agrarian.
Song of Ice and Fire? Feudal agrarian.
Riddlemaster of Hed? Feudal agrarian.
Chronicles of Thomas Covenant? Feudal agrarian.
Earthsea? Shannara? Melnibone? Feudal agrarian.
Lankhmar, Narnia, Cimmeria? Feudal agrarian.
Why is that? Why are they all pre-industrial? Why are they all pre-Enlightenment?
Why are they all pre-science?
I know why this is.
It’s not because the times before the industrial revolution were by definition more romantic. It’s not that the times before the Enlightenment were more adventurous.
It’s that a wizard will really mess up a scientist’s day.
The whole point of science is to figure out how the world works, and come up with rules that tell you how it will work in the future. Observe, hypothesize, experiment, lather, rinse, repeat. Over time, you discover the immutable laws of physics, upon which you can form larger and more elaborate theories.
Unless, that is, you exist in a world where the laws of physics can be affected by the pure willpower of some bearded dude in a pointy hat.
“Force equals mass times acceleration” is a pretty good rule. It’s useful, and very reliable. You can calculate a lot of different things with it.
But what if you lived in a universe where force equals mass times acceleration times willpower times the mystical accelerant of the fancy little necklace that you just captured from that ogre? Or force equals mass times acceleration plus mana, minus the number of people who had seen a dragon fly that day?
Well, you’d be in a world where you couldn’t figure out f=ma in the first place. Where you couldn’t trust that a steam engine would create a predictable amount of mechanical power, a turbine could create magnetism and energy, or pulses of light could transmit information through a series of tubes to a powerful kind of scrying glass called the inter-nets.
Dragons, elves, and wizards will fuck up Galileo, Copernicus, and Newton every time.
You see this theory in play in some fantasy books – the Amber series plays with multiple universes, some of which have modern technology. But in that story world, the closer you get to the two true poles of existence (Amber and Chaos), the less technological you must become.
In modern ‘urban fantasy’ like the Harry Dresden books or ‘manapunk’ stories like the Shadowrun series, you have worlds that combine high technology and magic. But in those story worlds, the magic has always been pushed underground, or has disappeared entirely for a long time, in order to allow true science to develop.
The story of Newton’s Cradle touches on this idea. What if scientists were placed in a situation in which the immutable laws of reality became unreliable?
We’re not invoking magic or wizards or the Mighty Vorpal Something Of The Dread Wizard Kings Of Somewhere, we’re invoking a story world in which force is usually the product of mass times acceleration … but not always.
It’s gonna be a fun ride.

September 6th, 2009 on 8:39 pm
[...] This post was Twitted by TVWriterCom [...]
September 6th, 2009 on 9:01 pm
[...] Original post: Why Wizards Can’t Discover Quantum Mechanics [...]
September 7th, 2009 on 5:49 am
Newton himself spent more of his professional life in the magical world of religious thinking than on inertia and gravity. The church was the force that held back The Enlightenment as long as it could. It wanted everyone to think that everything that happened was the will of God. God was the wizard who could do anything He wanted to do. When scientists started discovering physical laws that always worked the same way, the wizard seemed less powerful.
Science was repressed to keep magical thinking as the most common way of thinking. If people realize that they can come up with new ideas that make their lives better, then they gain power, and the church wanted all power.
The reason science was still sponsored by feudal lords is that they wanted better weapons. The same minds that designed new ways to kill in war (Many of da Vinci’s inventions were about war) were also curious about the heavens and things that could only be seen with a microscope and how to cure diseases.
Just a few thoughts. Looking forward to your movie.
September 7th, 2009 on 5:51 pm
What about Wizards of Waverly Place? How convenient that you “forgot” to mention that show. Try to have THAT fit into your neat little theory…
September 7th, 2009 on 6:03 pm
[...] Cool Article at Newton’s Cradle Site The guys making the Newton’s Cradle movie have a cool article up at their site about why Wizards and technology don’t mix. Check it out here: Newton’s Cradle Movie. [...]
September 7th, 2009 on 9:19 pm
[...] F=MA? Or F=MAWill(MagicNecklace)? From a blog created by filmmakers planning their first hard-sf indie feature [...]
September 7th, 2009 on 10:34 pm
Chris, I haven’t seen Wizards of Waverly Place.
However, I will happily admit that I am a *bad* scientist. If I find evidence that invalidates my theories, I am free to simply believe that the evidence in question doesn’t exist.
September 9th, 2009 on 7:37 pm
Kidding aside, even that show fits into your theory. They’re wizards with powers in modern-day New York City, but they have to keep them a secret.
And if you HAD seen the show, I would seriously question why, considering you don’t have young kids like I do…